I am beyond humbled and down right embarrassed about being so upset for Colbi's lack of sleep the past few days.
My daughter has been reverting back to the up every few hours at night time sleep regression I read about. And you know what, I realized yesterday how completely ridiculous it is that I let it frustrate me so.
Colbi is four months old. That's it. She is a perfectly healthy, extremely strong, beautiful little girl and I could not be more thankful for that.
God used a certain sick little boy to remind me that I should be thanking him for this precious little baby I have, instead of complaining and whining about the lack of sleep I'm getting. It's a temporary thing. And she's worth it.
I prayed this prayer today:
"God, forgive me. How selfish and petty I am being. Thank you for my beautiful, perfect daughter. Thank you for always meeting our needs. Thank you for keeping her safe. Please help me to be better and more patient. Help me to be reminded how blessed I am and in my frustration, help me to keep perspective. Forgive me Lord, for I am embarrassed and ashamed."
I know even when God does forgive us, we have to forgive ourselves.
It's funny because I never really understood when women said they felt like they mess up with their children almost daily, but now I do. Just another thing to add to our list of things to feel bad about. I'm thankful for another day to do better. For myself. For my sweet kiddo. With the forgiveness and love of God.
Amen.
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1 comment:
What a beautiful post, Brooke. I think that God has used this experience to draw you closer to Him. You know, that's a good point you made. I always try to remember that all of this phase is temporary, but it also will never happen again. Colbi will never be 4 months old again, for the REST of her life. And she is perfect and healthy and beautiful, and you could have it alot worse. It doesn't mean you can't be frustrated, just exactly what you said. Perspective. I love the song "It won't be like this for long" by Darius Rucker...
He didnt have to wake up
He'd been up all nite
Lay'n there in bed listen'n
To his new born baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says
It gonna be OK
It wont be like this for long
One day soon we'll look back laugh'n
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
It wont be like this for long
It's a great song for remembering that "it won't be like this forever" in a relief type way is also in a "remember this time cause it will be gone before you know it" kind of way.
Perspective helps!!
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