Mean girls, the true meaning.......

So I went my first women's group last night at church. Let me first start off by saying, that was the first time I truly missed Leslie and I doing things like that together, I can now imagine what all the people who don't have twins must have felt like on their first day of school or work or church. Normally I don't really care about doing things independently but I really wished I would have my twin to accompany me.

I found myself sitting alone for a long time without anyone saying hello or introducing themselves to me, but I just try to remember in situations like those people aren't doing it on purpose, everyone is always scared to make the first move....so of course I did.

I have just really felt this need to get involved in a woman's group, I think because it's been so long since I have been apart of one God is really laying it on my heart. So yesterday I made myself go, no excuses (even though American Idol was on and that is a bit of a distraction for me) and this group of women ranged from young to old, there were sinlge women, women with kids, you name it.

The whole premise of the study was revolved around the book of Esther and "It's tough to be a woman" a book that Beth Moore talks about. The lesson was awesome, and Beth Moore said some things that really hit home with me. She began talking about mean girls, how we all have a mean streak in us and as women this streak tends to be worse towards other women. Then she comes out with this "red" book which is women who write answers to her about questions she poses. One of the questions she asked was what as a woman do you feel is the hardest? Women were saying all sorts of things like, having to compare ourselves to other women who are prettier, skinner, funnier, etc. Another was, not feeling as though you are as good of mother as your friend or neighbor but the thing that really hit home was the response Beth Moore gave.

She began to list the characteristics of mean girls, and I can tell you I thought of a time or two where I could qualify as one. The biggest one she began talking about though was "You might be a mean girl if you wear inappropriate clothing around other women's men" and I think that might be a tough pill to swallow for some folks, think about it. I can think of few women I know who do that and had the thought crossed my mind that it bothered me, yes I can honestly say it did. She really just talked about the value of women and how while it's nice to play dress up and wear cute clothes, we as Godly Christian women should be doing that in a way that shows we are just that. That we value our bodies to leave some up to imagination and understand that other women around us might not appreciate the clothing we wear around their husbands and boyfriends.

I can only say that it is tough to be a woman in this world, a mean world at that. To always feel the competition between other women, having the best clothes, hair, car, marriage, behaved kids, etc. But she pointed out something else, all of this seems from insecurity. Which I completely agree with, I have friends like that, I'm like that at times. We all feel we need to have the best, appear to have a great life, and in all actuality that's not reality. We all have problems, different problems which we deal with daily. She did suggest that we asked ourselves when those emotions began to rise "what is it about this person I'm threatened by or jealous of" and then to pray about it. To ask God to relieve us of those feelings but it's a consistent battle because if it's not that person, it will be another friend.

I think we can only be thankful for things God has blessed us with and understand the rest are just material things. While I tell myself I wish I had this, or if we had more money I could do that, I know I am very blessed. I have a wonderful home, a loving husband that tells me everyday how much he loves me, two sisters that I wouldn't trade the world for, parents who raised me to understand the value of a dollar and gave me the ability to work for things I have and showed me what true work ethic is all about, a great friend in my sister in law who I thank God for, a Aunt that shares her wisdom of life with me when I need it, great in laws who are very loving towards us, and friends that I cherish greatly......but the most importantly my health. For the time being, God has blessed me with that. So while I may not have the best clothes or car or may not be the most beautiful girl on my block, I am blessed in other more important ways that mean more to me than all that other stuff, which is just that......stuff.