Rule #9: Come Together

"Coming together is the opposite of a codependency. When you seek to come together, what matters is your wholeness. When you become someone in your own right and are no longer dependent on the labels and opinions of others, you can get a grip on the kind of lasting contentment that carries you for a long time. Together, the two wholes becomes greater than the sum of their parts. You are complete, and so is your partner, and together, you become something even more amazing."

-Bethenny Frankel, A Place of Yes-

I think figuring out what type of person we all want to become is a life long process. Like I've said in so many posts, life is about lessons. And you can change with each lesson you experience, hopefully for the better.

I think one of the best things that happened to me was finding Dave a little later in life. We got married when I was 26 (I know, I was an old hag huh?!), but if Dave and I would have met any earlier I doubt we would have made it down the aisle. He had a lot of growing up to do and I had a major life lesson to learn: being independent isn't wrong, but finding someone you can trust and love is worth so much more. I'm still a very strong-willed woman who, at times, needs to be reminded that I can still be cared for. Dave is my lobster (for all you Friends fans!). He completes me in every way possible. He is the ying to my yang. Where I am weak, he is strong. He makes me calm down when I want to loose it. I break him out of the norm when need be, I keep us grounded while he is a dreamer, and we truly enjoy each other.

I think Coming Together is virtually impossible unless the first eight steps are followed. It's hard to know where you want to be or what you want to do all the time. Working with other people is a necessity. We were made for fellowship. No matter what job you have, you will have to work with other people. It's ten times easier to work with other people when you are doing what you were made to do. Think how much happier people are and pleasant to be around when they are doing something they love to do. When you come together, it's about surrounding yourself with people who matter to you and in turn, help you to be a better person, business person, partner, daughter, friend, etc. If we could all survive on our own, we wouldn't crave social acceptance or relationships. But these things are a lot easier when you know who you are, what you want, what your goals are.

"The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the club won't be worth a dime."

-Babe Ruth-

I need approval. I need it from my husband and my parents, this much I have learned about myself. But, I'm also learning that I can't strive for that. I will make choices my husband may not agree with and vise versa. But even if the approval I'm seeking isn't there, it doesn't mean what I'm doing is wrong. I can still come together with him and co-exist and be happy. It's about finding what works and doesn't work. It's about finding our "normal", not his parents and not my parents.

We need other people in our lives. I'm just glad I have a great husband, great parents, awesome sisters, and "second" family that all love me so much and encourage me to be successful and happy.