Sad News for Friday the 13th

I really debated on writing this but I feel like I should. Mainly, because I started this blog as a way to document what has happened in our lives and this is part of it, so here I go........

April 4th I took a pregnancy test after I got off work and I was so surprised when it said "Pregnant". I was not expecting that at all so I was shocked to say the least. I ended up waking Dave up super late because I just couldn't believe it, I almost needed someone else to validate it or something.

We told my parents and Dave's parents that same week. They were uber excited as were we, but opted to not tell everyone for awhile.

We had our first appointment May 4th, which made me 8 weeks. The baby was measuring two weeks behind but had a strong heartbeat so we left optimistic but cautious. The doctor wanted to see us again 10 days later so here we are today.

Today's appointment proved what the doctor had talked to us about, the baby had grown but we lost the heartbeat. I kind of expected it to be honest, just had a feeling I guess. I was proud of myself for not completely loosing in front of the man, I waited until after when we got to IHOP instead. HA!

We now have two options, wait to miscarry naturally or have a D&C. Dave and I told our doctor we were going to digest it all and we'll make a decision. I'm sure we'll schedule the appointment but I have a feeling I'll miscarry before that will happen, even if we had scheduled the D&C today.

It's been a day of different emotions. Anger, sadness, confusion........I have to say Dave has been extremely loving and caring today. I'm so thankful for my husband. He is such a great man and so supportive. My parents have also been a great strength to me, somehow they always know what to say. Leslie said she knew I was calling to tell her bad news, maybe it's a twin thing?

On the positive side, we did get pregnant so that's a good sign. I'm trying very hard not to focus on the future and the 'what if's' though and just take it a day at a time. For now, I've been eating horribly all day and resting. Funny how food makes you feel better, even when it doesn't.

Tomorrow is a new day and I'm hoping to feel better.........I'm thinking that will take some time but positive thinking is the one number key when going through hard times. I know God has a plan, sometimes I question what exactly is in his plan for me, but I chalk that up to human nature.

Besides this post and talking to family about it, I'm really not into speaking about it all the time. It's exhausting and emotionally draining just thinking about it, little lone telling the story all the time.

I'll keep you posted though. And maybe say a little prayer for me and Dave? Just for some peace and strength to get through the next part. I know we'd appreciate it!